Concept word: Helpless

Looks like: An emotionless baby who is usually always smiling and laughing. Sounds like: Silence while everyone is speechless, finally seeing what they are doing to the baby. Smells like: a different laundry detergent from the previous household. Tastes like: Slime. Feels like: my heart dropping and difficulty breathing. Reminds me of: The other foster children who have been through more than this. Is: the reality of many foster children and most don’t turn out so lucky.

Kesiah Olvera

Janel Spencer

Writing 101S

17 October 2019

A Blessing In Disguise 

My entire 18 years, I have been around foster kids; younger ones, older ones, and all with their own story to tell. On both my mom and dad’s side of the family numerous foster kids come in and out and very few ever have a happy ending. As I get older and come across more and more of these kids in the system, I learn more about them and their stories. Along with learning about these kids, it has made me realize some changes we can have in the foster system to help these innocent kids go through less trauma. One significant baby who came into my life has opened up my eyes to something I would have never thought to. This baby was Araceli Ley. Araceli was born 2 months early due to her biological mother being in a car accident with a severe head injury as well as being exposed to drug substances. She spent her first 23 days of life in an incubator then the rest of her first year under the care of my uncle and aunt’s, Jacob and Marisol. Doctors did not expect her to live more than a few days, but the warrior she is, she strived through. Her biological mother, Susanna Ley, was at the time, being fostered by her grandmother at the age of 16. Which is one of the reasons she wasn’t able to take care of her own daughter. Another one being when doctors investigated Araceli’s injury, they concluded it wasn’t an injury that could have come from outside the womb. Something had to purposefully come in physical contact with her head. Along with her head injury, Susanna exposed Araceli to drugs while being in her womb, making her a drug-addicted baby. All of these are reasons why Araceli Ley was taken away from her birth mother and put into Jacob and Marisol’s care. 

• My mother, Nancy
• She is about 5’4, blonde/highlighted hair with bangs, brown eyes, freckles, dresses casually with tennis shoes, T-shirt and jeans
• When my mom broke the news to me that she wont be able to adopt the baby. She came into my room and looked at me, sat on my bed with me, started tearing up while she started talking and I knew what she was gonna say. At this point, we’re both crying and she is hugging me and apologizing. My mom is someone who doesn’t show affection and is more about tough love, so I knew it wasn’t easy for her to tell me as well as to not adopt the baby.
• “We will still be apart of her life” “She’s going to be with a family who can give her more than what we can.” “Baby’s are resilient, she’s gonna be okay”

Who: Aracely Sophia and family

What: Foster system

When: 2017-2019

Where: uncles home, to biologicl mothers home to her adopted families home

Why: biologic mother wasn’t able to care for her child; even when she knew it, the foster system didn’t seem to care

I remember the first time Aracely was in the hospital and I had to miss a week of school to be with her since she had nobody. Her biological mom would never visit, my uncle and my mom had to work, and my aunt had her other kids she needed to take care of

I don’t remember… I cant seem to find anything i cant remember since this is still fresh and I was very involved

(Not Aracely’s case) I don’t remember the foster kids I came across when I was younger and there sufferings. If I had the knowledge I have now, and was older, I would have much more cases to relate Aracely’s to.

Introduction:

• Family takes care of foster children my whole life
• Sad cases I have seen throughout, what improvements foster system can use
• Introduce Araceli Ley

l (Exposition):

• More in depth about Araceli: Born premature, with a 16 year old mom, head injury, 27 days in the incubator then into my aunt and uncles care.
• Biological mother, Susanna, was doing drugs, drinking and tried to have a home abortion. Her mom was also not stable, on drugs, which is why Susanna was in her grandmothers care

ll (Inciting incident):

• Susanna’s mother forced her to fight for Araceli
• She would constantly cancel visits
• The family would constantly lie and/or makeup things about my aunt and uncle to have Araceli taken away from them

lll (Rising action):

• Court had decided Susanna is getting better and should have weekend long visits with her mom instead of just a few hours
• When Araceli would come back after that weekend, she was emotionless and confused
• Susanna, again stopped going to mandatory classes and back to canceling visits
• Shortly after a year, my aunt and uncle then decided adopting her would be best, but they weren’t able to since my aunt wasn’t a U.S. citizen so they decided to look for a family who would adopt instead of putting her into the foster care system

lV (Climax):

• They found a family, we (my family) all met them and thought they would be great fit .
• Araceli began to stay with her new family and was very resilient
• Susanna didn’t like the family, and again wanted to fight; court ruled it would be okay for Susanna to try again and have her baby for weekends
• devastated the other family, but they didn’t stop fighting for her.

V (Resolution):

• Susanna stopped all over again, signed away her rights and Araceli got adopted with the best family.

Conclusion:

• We are still in contact with her and her family and able to have her 1 weekend each month.
• Araceli was one of the few who were lucky enough to have a happy ending
• The system doesn’t care if kids are in a good home or not, as long as the kids are provided with a home

I have come to believe… 

The foster care system can use many improvements 

I am standing here … 

Continuing to learn more and more about its flaws

Less than a year ago…

I was clueless about what our foster kids go through on a day to day basis.

• Had you written a rhetorical analysis before? What aspects of a rhetorical analysis did you learn about that you hadn’t considered before?
• No, I learned there are more startegie than just ethos, logos, pathos
• What did you learn about your piece or your author’s perspective that you otherwise wouldn’t have discovered?
• I learned how many countries do have free school and how successful the US can still be. 
• What are the ways you effectively prepared, revised, and bettered your writing for the Essay 1 final draft? What ways do you wish to continue to improve for Essay 2 and 3?
• I like how each week we had at least one page due and i would feel overwhelmed which helped a lot 
• What questions do you still have about rhetorical analysis? What questions do you have about the writing process? About grammar?
• None

Sentence fragment: an incomplete sentence because it lacks a subject, lacks a verb, or is a dependent clause.

Subordinate Conjunctions: after, although, as, as if, as though, because, before, except, if, since, though, unless, until, when, whereas

Relative Pronouns: that, what, whatever, which, who, whoever, whom, whose

EXAMPLE

Fragments

Although he wanted to go to the meeting. Whoever goes to the meeting.

Complete sentences

Although he wanted to go to the meeting, his doctor advised him to stay home. Whoever goes to the meeting should bring back handouts for the rest of the group.

Independent Clause: Subject verb “complete thought”

Run-ons

Fused: we went to the store i saw a cow

Comma splice: we went to the store, i saw a cow

        ^FANBOYS or ;

Capitalization and punctuation 

• The first and last word and important words in titles of literary or art works (books, songs, short stories, poems, articles, movie titles, magazines, paintings, sculptures, etc.). Conjunctions, articles, and prepositions with less than five letters are not capitalized unless they are first or last words
• Titles or degrees used with, or in place of, people’s names (Ms., Dr. Smith, Captain, President,  Sir, John Smith, Ph.D.), but not when used as a substitute or after a name. (Dwight D. Eisenhower was president after World War II.)
• The names of historical events, time periods, laws, documents, wars, and distinguished awards. (Civil War, Middle Ages, Medal of Honor, A.M., P.M., A.D., B.C.)
• The names of schools and specific school courses, but not general subjects except English. (McMath Middle School, Algebra II, American History, not reading, math, science, high school)
• North, south, east, and west when they refer to specific sections of the country but not directions (He drove east. She is from East Texas. We live in the South.
• Use a comma to separate the year from the rest of the sentence when the year follows the month and day. (We spent July 23, 2003, in France. NOTE:  No comma is used with just month and year. We vacationed May 2004 in Mexico.)
• Use commas to set off parenthetical expressions that provide additional information that can be easily removed without changing the meaning of the sentence. (Reserved seats are an extra cost, according to the brochure.  The actors, I believe, are not ready for the show.)
• Use semicolons to separate independent clauses that are brief and closely related.  This works best with cause and effect information. (Kristi’s skating routine is the best; she won six gold medals. It rained all day; our picnic was cancelled.)
• Use italics for the titles of books, newspapers, magazines, musical compilations, works of art, ships, television shows, movies, etc. (A famous movie is Gone with the Wind.  I read the Dallas Morning News on Sundays.)

Commonly confused words

• ALLUSION-an indirect reference
  • ex:The professor made an allusion to Virginia Woolf’s work.
• ILLUSION-a false perception of reality
  • ex: They saw a mirage: that is a type of illusion one sees in the desert.
• WHO-used as a subject or as a subject complement (see above)
  • ex: John is the man who can get the job done.
• WHOM-used as an object
  • ex: Whom did Sarah choose as her replacement?
• THAN-use with comparisons
  • ex: I would rather go out to eat than eat at the dining hall.
• THEN-at that time, or next
  • ex: I studied for my exam for seven hours, and then I went to bed.

Kesiah Olvera

Janel Spencer

WRT 101S

3 October 2019

Rhetorical Analysis: Make College Free For All

Vermont senator and presidential candidate, Bernie Sanders, writes an article posted on The Washington Post, which argues why college should be free. In his article, “Make College Free For All” (October 22, 2015), Sanders argues that higher education should be free for all American students. By doing so, this allows the youth to reach their full potential in education, which then causes a stronger economy as well as a stronger democracy in the future which our young adults hold. In the article, Bernie Sanders’s purpose is to convince his targeted audience, populists, that college needs to be free and we must give everyone a chance. Sanders provides numerous ways of persuasion. Such as the use of personal experiences, multiple scenarios from American history which includes our 19th president, Rutherford B. Hayes, and adds on by using other countries that do have free college as great examples.

Bernie sanders uses his background experiences and early life as ethos. Born in 1941, politician Sanders started his political career as the mayor of Burlington, Vermont. Currently Vermont senator and democratic candidate for president. He was born and raised in Brooklyn with an under privileged upbringing which gives him a unique perspective. Sanders is able to identify with both lower and higher classes which shows the audience his understanding of both classes.

Sanders, starts off his article by stating “Hayes, a Republican, didn’t worry that some poor kid might benefit from access to ‘free stuff’ nor did he believe that the children of wealthy elites should be excluded from the universal nature of the program. For him, education was the basis for full economic and political participation, and full participation was the basis for all prosperity. An education should be available to all regardless of anyone’s station”(Sanders). He uses both ethos and pathos to persuade his audience. He includes ethos by including a quote from the United States 19th president, Rutherford B. Hayes. The reader knows that Hayes is more than a trusted source, considering, he has contributed incredibly to America alone. Bernie Sanders adds pathos by describing underprivileged students as “some poor kid” in contrast with “children of wealthy elites” (Sanders), which he describes the students who are more well-off. He then continues by mentioning topics that may be further appealing to his audience which includes economy and political status. He claims that Hayes believes education is essential for full economic as well as political participation. 

Bernie Sanders adds to his argument by mentioning other successful countries who provide free college to their people. I’m not sure how effective this may be, considering populist’s want to believe our country is the most successful and in turn don’t want to look at other countries for inspiration. Although, this may be true, Sanders still reminds his audience that our country can and should always be looking for ways to improve. Bernie states, “In Finland, Denmark, Ireland, Iceland, Norway, Sweden and Mexico, public colleges and universities remain tuition-free. They’re free throughout Germany, too, and not just for Germans or Europeans but for international citizens as well. That’s why every year, more than 4,600 students leave the 

United States and enroll in German universities” (Sanders). When his audience is informed and reminded 

of almost 5,000 students leaving the United States yearly to get an affordable education, it gives them a wake up call or a realization. Populists want to keep their people here; the more they lose, the less that is contributed to its economy. Sanders then builds on his argument and calls attention to the differences between our government and the others. He adds pathos to the following by inferring that the United States doesn’t value the importance of the youth by stating “Governments in these countries understand what an important investment they are making, not just in the individuals who are able to acquire knowledge and skills but for the societies these students will serve as teachers, architects, scientists, entrepreneurs and more” (Sanders).

Bernie Sanders uses his personal experiences, America’s history, and a comparison of the U.S. to other countries to make his argument persuasive. He successfully targeted his audience by acknowledging their values. Doing so, then caught their attention and interest as to why this topic should be relevant to them. Sanders focused on the benefits free college has on the U.S. and its economy rather than the benefits for families and young adults because he knew his audience would much rather hear about how the U.S. and its money affected. He ends off his article by stating, “We will have a stronger economy and a stronger democracy when all young people with the ambition and the talent can reach their full potential, regardless of their circumstances at birth” (Sanders). By this, he adds a sense of urgency and call to action letting his audience know that as soon as we provide free college for our students, no matter their circumstance, we will be more successful as a country; a win win for all. I believe Bernie used rhetorical strategies appropriately and succeeded at convincing his audience that college should be free. 

Works Cited 

Sanders, Bernie. “Make College Free For All.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 22 Oct.     i 2015, http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/bernie-sanders-america-needs-free-college-now/2015/10/22/a3d05512-7685-11e5-bc80-9091021aeb69_story.html?noredirect=on.

Bernie Sanders uses his personal experiences, America’s history, and a comparison of the U.S. to other countries to make his argument persuasive. He successfully targeted his audience by acknowledging their values. Doing so, then caught their attention and interest as to why this topic should be relevant to them. Sanders focused on the benefits free college has on the U.S. and its economy rather than the benefits for families and young adults because he knew his audience would much rather hear about how the U.S. and its money affected. He ends off his article by stating, “We will have a stronger economy and a stronger democracy when all young people with the ambition and the talent can reach their full potential, regardless of their circumstances at birth. (Sanders)” By this, he adds a sense of urgency and call to action letting his audience know that as soon as we provide free college for our students, no matter their circumstance, we will be more successful as a country; a win win for all. I believe Bernie used rhetorical strategies appropriately and succeeded at convincing his audience that college should be free.